On Sunday, a college friend voiced that ‘I must be so patient’ to be able to homeschool. I have to admit this wasn’t the first time I’ve been told such a thing.
Then, yesterday Dash commented about how easy it is for me to ‘give up’ Dr. Pepper during Lent and he thought I ‘always’ gave it up because it was easy for me.
But, what neither of them see is the inward struggle that is hidden from the outside. I am NOT patient – at least I don’t view myself as patient. I may have been patient before I had kids, but I wonder if I was tested then!! At any rate, I have never claimed to be patient and never will.
Dash’s observation may have been closer to truth because once I set my mind to it, I can be pretty steadfast. Some would call it a gift and some a character trait. It is easy for me to give up ‘things’. It’s harder to change how I feel about or treat people and it’s harder to add to my day (especially when I’m not fully committed or it’s not my idea). However, I wondered if that meant he thought I have never failed. It’s dangerous to believe that our parents never fail … because they (we) do fail. EVERY DAY I fail and sin.
Dr. Pepper isn’t the only sacrifice during my Lent, but I don’t choose to share everything I’m doing – particularly with my kids. It’s not that I don’t want my kids to see my failures, it’s just that some ‘things’ are better left to be an interior struggle.
So, should I let my kids see me fail in ‘my sacrifice’, let them believe I purposely chose an easy ‘sacrifice’, or choose a different visible sacrifice. That is my question to ponder for today.
Good reflections, Suzie. Good questions to ponder, too.
ReplyDeleteTell them at the end of Lent, if you wish, one of your interior "offerings". Then they can reflect back on Lent and think how neat it was that you were doing sacrifice without "letting the other hand see what the other one is doing!" Maybe they'll want to do the same next Lent! Just my 2 cents...
ReplyDeletedefinitely a good reflection, suzie.
ReplyDeletemy teen and i had a similar conversation just this morning.
i chose not to tell him all of the "mortifications" i am doing for lent.
i gave him one example, but told him that basically it was about submitting to God's will and crushing my own.
this is a tough one.
it is hard to draw the line with regards to you being their "spiritual advisor" in a sense. i don't know that they "need" to know what you are giving up just like you may not "know" what your priest/confessor/spiritual director is giving up for lent.
you trust, as their "inferior" that they are doing their part, while you do yours.
i think maybe it would be good to meet privately with each child and decide upon something together for "them". and if you choose to share something with them, then that is fine. but i don't know that "you" should be "accountable" to them.
as their mother, they owe you respect and honor.
i don't even know if i am making sense. there are 4 people chattering in here. making my head spin, so i can't really order my thoughts.
but i hope you get the gist of what i am trying to say.
not that it is a "bad" thing for them to see you "fall". we all fall. we all struggle.
but it is in the picking yourself back up. dusting yourself off and setting out on your way again that counts.
my 2 cents.
for what it is worth!
(not a lot, know!)
:)
Very good post Suzie.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd just tell them that you do do other things, maybe give examples but then leave it at that. Wait! I did tell my kiddos that!
Great post!! I think just being honest. Telling the kids that some things are easy and some things you give up or do are hard.
ReplyDelete